How To Help Someone With Anorexia

risebeyondanorexia

Sep 9

4 min read

By Dhia Azhani

If a friend or a relative has anorexia, you may feel an urge to help them but do not know how.

You are already doing a good job just by finding more about anorexia, it shows you truly care and that you are willing to take time to help them out. Talking to a medical professional can increase the chances of recovery. However, reaching for professional help is the hardest part of recovery for most individuals. You can support them by ensuring they are not alone, offering to tag along to appointments, and simply encourage them to get help.

There are many other ways you can support them, including:

Make them feel valued as a person - include them in conversations, invite them to go hang out, etc. They may not always accept, but it’s better to ask them because it tells them you want them to be there.

Help them set up a recovery journal - journaling about anorexia can help them express their emotions positively. Although writing a journal is no replacement for a supportive community or professional help, it can be a powerful tool for them to share their feelings and reflect on what is happening in their life.

Try to build up their self esteem - complimenting them can help build up their self esteem. To start, you may say how great of a person they are and how much you appreciate having them in your life. With your help, they can slowly build up their self esteem and start being more confident about themselves.

Listen to them, and do not give advice or criticise - no matter how much you disagree with what they say or what they do, they could still use your support. This can be especially tough if you disagree, however, remember that you don’t need to have all the answers right now and it’s okay to figure it out along the way.

How are eating disorders treated?

Talking therapies - This usually involves some kind of talking therapy because help with eating and getting to a healthy weight, if needed, is usually not enough. Your friend or relative will talk to a therapist about the emotional difficulties that led to their eating disorder, and they will learn healthier ways to cope with these feelings. Their treatment may also involve them working through a guided self-help programme.

Family therapies - Some people may also have family therapy, which is a type of group therapy. The person with the eating disorder is encouraged to work with family members to try to treat their eating disorder. This usually involves parents and siblings, but may sometimes include close friends or other family members.

Treatment will take place over several months, so your friend or relative can get used to the changes slowly . The earlier they start, the better their chances of making a good recovery. During their treatment, they will also have regular health checks to look after their physical health.

Should I visit them in the hospital?

This depends on what your friend or relative wants, how you feel and what the treatment centre allows.

Let them know you're thinking of them and would like to visit. If this is not possible, you can always call, text or email them to let them know you're still there to support them. Remember to always respect your friend or relative’s boundaries.

Can people be forced to get help for anorexia?

If your friend or relative has lost an extreme amount of weight, they may be in danger of starving themselves and developing serious complications. They may not be able to think clearly because of the lack of food and may have to be forced into life-saving treatment.

In these circumstances, their doctor may decide to admit them to hospital for specialist treatment. This can only be done after the doctor has consulted with colleagues and they all agree with the doctor's decision. This is called being sectioned and is done under the rules of the Mental Health Act.

Will they be cured when they get home?

Your friend or relative will still need your support. Most people with an eating disorder do recover and learn to use more positive ways of coping. However, recovery from an eating disorder can be very difficult and take a long time. Your friend or relative may even relapse into old behaviours, or have periods of living with their illness again during their recovery.

Part of them may want to get better, while the other part might be very scared about giving up the eating disorder. They might think: "I want to get better but I do not want to lose or put on any weight."

They will probably have good days and bad days. During times of stress, the eating difficulties may be more likely to return. Changing the way people with eating disorders think and feel is never easy, and it takes time. Surely, with time, patience, consistency, and support, full recovery is definitely possible.

Warning: If you are a parent, do not blame yourself. Eating disorders are complex and you didn’t cause anything. If you feel you’ve made mistakes that have contributed to the development of an eating disorder, apologise and act accordingly. Remember that you can always make this right.

Please do respect their boundaries. Be available, but do not pry or act in an overbearing way. Boundary violations may cause them to pull away and distrust you, which can lead to unnecessary conflict.